Receiving compliments is great. Want to know what is even better? Receiving great compliments. There are a couple of things you can do to be the person who gives great compliments. Here are some tips!
Be sincere
Only give a compliment when you mean every word you say. People will be able to tell if you are dishonest or don’t fully believe what you’re saying. ‘Giving more compliments’ is a great resolution. However, be sure not to deliver a verbal vomit of meaningless sentences for ‘the sake of being nice’. If you pay attention and take the time, coming up with sincere compliments is easy.
Focus on personality and effort
Compliment people on their efforts and personality traits, not on their unchanging, superficial characteristics. Being ‘beautiful’ or ‘intelligent’ is a trait someone is born with (they matched some sort of popular ideal). There is nothing they ever did to ‘deserve’ the credit for these attributes. Therefore such traits have little value as a compliment. Besides, they make you somewhat judgmental for ranking people on a superficial scale. Instead, compliment people on for example something they did or the way they behave.
Be specific
People want to hear what you like about them specifically. They love hearing the ‘why’ behind what you like. Instead of ‘you did a great job’, you could say: ‘even though the workload this month was higher than normal, you kept your head cool and handled your tasks with grace. I really admire that about you.’ Instead of ‘great dress’, you could say: ‘You have such a wonderful sense of style. The colour of your dress compliments the tone of your skin/eyes/hair.’ Highlight the part where they did something that will make them feel unique.
Express effect on you
Tell people the effect they had on you. For example: “Something about the way you play this song gives me the chills. Your music touches me deeply.” People want to feel like what they do matters to others. So telling them about their impact is a great base for a compliment. This works especially well if you highlight the emotional impact it has on you.
Sometimes it can be difficult to receive compliments. I feel that this is often the case when compliments are lacking some form of depth. If you give better compliments, people will be less hesitant to accept them. Think back on the compliments that made a big impact on you. Did they in some way match the guidelines I just wrote down? I would love to hear the best compliment you got from someone!
Ok, practice time. Thank you for reading my blog. Your thoughtful comments, your loyalty and the precious time you spend reading my blog makes me smile, every day. Your support motivates me to keep writing better content and to make this an even happier place on the Internet.
Get the FREE E-Course 'Creative ReBootcamp' to Awaken your creative dreams in 5 days!
& receive uplifting updates per email
7 Comments
Carly
March 29, 2014 at 19:39
I love this so much! Compliments on personality and talent definitely last so much longer and mean so much more than compliments on appearance. I really like the last tip, to focus on the way the person made you feel and make sure they know how they affected you. I love it when I get compliments that let me know that people recognize who I am as a person, and maybe they think I’m good at the things I do, like photography or thinking creatively and optimistically.
I shall take this opportunity to say: Marielle, you make me think of paper cranes and silliness and a colorful brain, and I always visit your blog wearing a smile. You’re fabulous and I am so grateful to know you exist on this planet making it better for the rest of its inhabitants.
magicaldaydream
March 31, 2014 at 12:14
:D Thank you Carly! I think I’m putting your comment in my happy jar ;)
Matt Maldre
March 30, 2014 at 22:36
The tagline for your site is so wonderful: “A place for creativity, playfulness and happy thoughts.” Seeing all the great positive projects on your site makes me want to blog and make art again.
I’m a new reader to your blog. I found you via your display ad on the glorious uncustomary.org.
magicaldaydream
March 31, 2014 at 12:17
Oh I love Mary! So happy to have you around. And you can start blogging/art any time you want (again). Why not?
Jgl
March 9, 2015 at 17:49
This is really accurate and helpful. The best compliment I’ve ever gotten was when someone told me “whenever I am with you I feel like I am in a movie”. That has stuck with me for years!
magicaldaydream
March 23, 2015 at 08:16
Ahh, that’s a great compliment to get. I can understand how you would remember that!
Pingback:
February 12, 2017 at 17:28
Pieces, No. 5 | Finally Raining