Receiving compliments is great. Want to know what is even better? Receiving great compliments. There are a couple of things you can do to be the person who gives great compliments. Here are some tips!
Only give a compliment when you mean every word you say. People will be able to tell if you are dishonest or don’t fully believe what you’re saying. ‘Giving more compliments’ is a great resolution. However, be sure not to deliver a verbal vomit of meaningless sentences for ‘the sake of being nice’. If you pay attention and take the time, coming up with sincere compliments is easy.
Focus on personality and effort
Compliment people on their efforts and personality traits, not on their unchanging, superficial characteristics. Being ‘beautiful’ or ‘intelligent’ is a trait someone is born with (they matched some sort of popular ideal). There is nothing they ever did to ‘deserve’ the credit for these attributes. Therefore such traits have little value as a compliment. Besides, they make you somewhat judgmental for ranking people on a superficial scale. Instead, compliment people on for example something they did or the way they behave.
People want to hear what you like about them specifically. They love hearing the ‘why’ behind what you like. Instead of ‘you did a great job’, you could say: ‘even though the workload this month was higher than normal, you kept your head cool and handled your tasks with grace. I really admire that about you.’ Instead of ‘great dress’, you could say: ‘You have such a wonderful sense of style. The colour of your dress compliments the tone of your skin/eyes/hair.’ Highlight the part where they did something that will make them feel unique.
Express effect on you
Tell people the effect they had on you. For example: “Something about the way you play this song gives me the chills. Your music touches me deeply.” People want to feel like what they do matters to others. So telling them about their impact is a great base for a compliment. This works especially well if you highlight the emotional impact it has on you.
Sometimes it can be difficult to receive compliments. I feel that this is often the case when compliments are lacking some form of depth. If you give better compliments, people will be less hesitant to accept them. Think back on the compliments that made a big impact on you. Did they in some way match the guidelines I just wrote down? I would love to hear the best compliment you got from someone!
Ok, practice time. Thank you for reading my blog. Your thoughtful comments, your loyalty and the precious time you spend reading my blog makes me smile, every day. Your support motivates me to keep writing better content and to make this an even happier place on the Internet.