We explain to him that we spent the morning eating Mickey Mouse pancakes, drinking milk and watching old cartoons; Tom & Jerry, Looney Tunes. You know; the good ones that fill you up with nostalgia and warm Saturday-morning memories. For no particular reason other than that we could.
‘Him’ being a guy whose identity doesn’t really matter for the story. The fact that I met him for the first time does.
Then the next day, he sees me arrive at the doorstep with my new beautiful coloring book; my newfound treasure that was a graduation gift. I got it this week and have been looking for a moment to start in it ever since.
As I draw, I talk about how happy the rainbow-coloured pencils make me feel.
I suddenly have a moment of self-reflection and think to myself: this weekend must make me look like a small kid to this guy. Mickey mouse pancakes, cartoons, coloring books…
Yet I can do science and build intelligent stuff and occasionally say interesting things once you get to know me. Really…
But then I realize that coming across as a kid might not have anything to do with the series of events that together form this weekend; yet moreover with who I am. Not every weekend looks like this one, but this weekend has been filled with silly little things that make me happy. I embrace my inner child and I love to play. And every now and then I get self-conscious about it and I question myself because in my inner monologue comparisons I always end up being ‘the weird one’. But honestly, I think it is a wonderful thing to be able to enjoy the world as if you were a child. To ask questions about everything because you want to discover and are eager to learn. To do things you love without hesitation. To find joy in the small things and create your own happy place by filling your life with these small joys. To calmly fill in the spaces between the lines with beautiful colors while pondering about life’s big questions and small daily events.
And at that moment I stop caring about what he could or would or should think of me. And I continue drawing. In my new coloring book. With music. And a smile.